Real Romance

Hey lovelies, so tonight or today or whenever you read this I am gonna be trying to tell you guys what it is like living with an illness that you thought would never affect you, but it has. When I was younger of course I have heard of people getting cancer and all that stuff. I never imagined that one day I would be the girl or kid that got cancer. Of course you know I would occasionally get sick with the cold or fever and ear infections but when I was younger it was not that serious. I would just take it easy and let my body do its job and fight the sickness. Of course also my grandparents when they got older in age would be in and out of the doctor and the hospital but that did not phase me that much because I knew that it was just a part of life. When they passed it was something very sad and emotional to go through, but the time and memories i had with them will forever hold a special place in my heart. When I was diagnosed I could not even describe what it was like to hear doctors talk about it and people looking at you with pity in their eyes. Like what 5 foot 16 year old athletic girl gets stage 4 neuroendocrine pancreatic cancer with metastasis in the liver as well as cushing syndrome? My diagnosis and illness is so complex and diverse that the doctors are sometimes shocked and are very cautious with how they approach different things. I was very ill and did not even know it. I would feel like absolute crap at cheer practice but I pushed my self and my body to at least try to get through practice. Mentally my mind was not with it and physically I was also struggling. It is funny to me because I had to get to my most sick to actually fell healthy. Does that kinda make sense? I never really for awhile knew what it felt like to have days with no pain or discomfort until I started seeing my doctors and working with them and different medications. Also taking care of your mental health and focusing on your breath and breathing is very important. I really only had and experienced one and a half years of highschool because as time went on my mental health and physical health was just getting worse and I was not myself and was so unhappy and struggling. Do not be afraid to reach out to your mom or dad or best friend or some one who is there for you and will help you. People are always shocked when I tell them what is wrong and what I have been through. Because I never gave up and just keep on pushing. Because, yes, one day I do want to have a little cinnamon apple, a house, a nice job, and maybe some kids. Some people call me their hero and I am like, wait, hold up, you think I am a hero? That literally means so much to me that I can help people get through tough times and even make them laugh or smile or just take their minds off of something with my blogs or little makeup videos that I do. I know that I can get through this and if you ever need someone to talk to or rant and vent to I AM YOUR GIRL!!

Love Yah