Live Life

Hey lovelies, when I was younger I would have never have thought or even imagined that my life would be like how my life is now. Who would have thought that this happy, friendly, bubbly cheerleader, who was running laps around the track field and catching and throwing girls in the air, in the hot Florida sun, would get Cushings and stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I can not even describe to you what it feels like to have such a serious illness and literally fighting so hard for your life. I only really had one solid year of high school which was my freshmen year and half of my sophmore year of high school before I was diagnosed. If I were to have a regular school life, like my friends, I would be a senior in high school. Unfortunately I still have to catch up on some junior year classes and senior year classes. My friends are doing there college apps and I am still working on junior year. I am happy for all my friends and I hope they are all successful and happy. I told my parents that I will get there one day. I already kinda know what I am leaning towards. I want to be a nurse practitioner. I think that I would make a great nurse because I feel like I can relate to people and even relate to how they are feeling and use my knowledge and compassion to help them feel better. It is actually funny because my doctors ask me what I want to be in the future and I used to respond and say "I do not know", to telling them "a nurse", and all my doctors think that is a great idea and they even want me to go further and be a doctor just like them. There was a point in my sickness where people did not even think I would make it to have a future. But guess what.. I am proving them wrong and living my best life. Of course I have my good days and bad days. I try to have more good days and moments and happy thoughts, then dark and sad and bad thoughts. I have so much to be thankful for and I am so blessed to have the best people and support system. I have changed both mentally and physically as a person. I have had to grow up very quickly and handle some pretty tough things. Of course also in my future I would like to go to college and get married and have a family of my own and be successful. Sometimes I do have to admit, I get jealous of some of my friends and other peoples lives because I wish I was not sick and could do more. But then I sit back and I realize that I am blessed in so many other ways. Plus the tea is, some of these people that I see becoming friends and are all buddy, buddy now, I am like Yeah that is totally fake and will not last. But, that is some tea to spill on another post. Now my days are kinda basic. I wake up have my coffee and pills and breakfast, watch some YouTube or some Golden Girls and check social media, do some school work and just try to keep busy. Whatever the challenge is that I have to face for that day is I know that I can get through it and keep on fighting. Live your life and laugh a little while you are at it too.