Funk

Hey lovelies, it is currently 10:45 pm September 3rd 2020, when I am writing this. Yes, I know it has been a couple of days since I have written and I am going to be completely honest with you guys. I am kinda in a funk right now. I get into these funks and little times of depression sometimes. I feel like the days are all just kind of merging into each other and I just feel like blah. I do have to admit sometimes I do feel lonely and sad. Being a warrior and a strong brave girl sometimes is hard because I have some bad PTSD. Issues that I do not want to revisit or think about sometimes resurface and I have to live with those bad memories and things that have happened to me. I especially am in a funk because of stupid Covid. I can not go anywhere or do somethings because I am at high risk and can not even get a little cold or cough. Even before quarantine because of the treatment I was given for the cancer I still had to quarantine from people after because I would be radioactive. Also I can not do cheer right now because of quarantine and I miss my cheer girls and coaches like crazy. Like I am a cheerleader that is just who I am and always was and was known for. Now that I can not be doing cheer right now it is very hard for me I feel like that part of me is just waiting and wanting to get back out there on the field and dance and cheer my little heart out. I NEED CHEER!! Now I know when I tell you guys what I am gonna tell you next is gonna sound like any other teenage girl, but you know what I am going to say it anyways. I NEED A BOY FRIEND LIKE NOW!!!😩 I am about to turn 18 and I have never been romantically involved with anyone and also I have not even had my first kiss yet. Now, do not get me wrong, the first guy to show me attention I am not gonna just jump into a relationship with him. No, I have to make sure he likes me a lot and will treat me right. Because sis let me tell you, I did not fight for my life to be treated badly by a guy. I know my worth and honestly I think any guy would be lucky to have me as their girl friend. I am grown in so many ways, but also I am still very innocent and young in other ways. Not to toot my own horn but I am a catch and think some people try too hard to be something they are not. But, baby with me I will always be 100 with you. But guess what?? I AM GONNA BE TURNING 18 !! That is crazy, some doctors and people thought that I would not even make it to 17, but nope being the Bad B that I am I made it to 17 and now 18. I have been featured in a couple of stories that news stations and other different organizations do and more people are interested in my story. I love telling my story and connecting with people and raising awareness. It is nice to connect with people and talk because I love talking (lol). I have met and worked with many great people and organizations and I hope more good things are to come in the future. All in all I know that if I just focus on the good things to come and stay positive I will get out of this little funk that I am in right now.